Tuesday, October 7, 2014

A Rough Summer

My owner's house was under construction this summer.  It was very disturbing to me because different work people came early in the morning and woke me up with hammering.  This brings to mind one of my owner's favorite movies - Scrooged; when Frank (Bill Murray) says this: Frank Cross: Would you *please*, for the love of *god*, and your own body!, stop the damn hammering?
So I have been very grouchy, and barking more than usual at anything that disturbs me.  My owner has hired a "dog lady" who is supposed to 'bring me treats' and play 'games with me'.  This sounds like fun!  The dog lady comes on a Thursday afternoon.  Thursdays are my favorite day because I get to stay home from my Executive Position at Potena PT and sleep on the bed until 3:00.
The Dog Lady:
For some reason my owner put my leash on before the dog lady got there.  Then when she rang the doorbell, I barked and everybody ignored me.  Then while the dog lady was talking with my owner about all of these things I do, I just sat there and waited.  I don't like the dog lady.  Wait!  The dog lady gave me tiny pieces of Hot Dogs!  I like that but I still did not trust her, she smelled like other dogs and looked suspicious.  Then we played a game.  I got hot dogs when I was quiet and waited for 10 seconds to get them.  This was very hard for me, as I have no self control.  Then my owner rang the doorbell several times and gave me hot dogs, I think maybe she was drinking but I don't care, I like hot dogs.
I notice my owner is bringing tiny pieces of hot dogs everywhere, I'm glad we hired the dog lady.  Saturday, a Pit Bull looked very scary at the pet store, and I tried to attack him before he got a chance to eat me!  But I forgot all about it when my owner gave me the magic hot dog treats.  Stupid people tried to pet me after the Pit Bull happened and my owner told them no, I was happy because I did not feel like being nice to stupid people that day.
Mondays:
Today is Monday and the magic treats are at the office, I like Mondays now.  A loud person whom I find very disturbing comes in today, but I forget to bark at her because the magic treats appear.  On the way home from work, my owner says she has a surprise for me.  We get home and instead of my regular chicken stick, my owner gives me a frozen object with frozen hot dogs and food inside.  This is supposed to amuse me, but I am appalled.  The hot dogs do not come out when I nudge the toy, and I cannot get them out because they are frozen.  Doesn't my owner know that Princess Dogs in the Kingdom of Morkie do not work for their food.  Also we do not eat frozen things, this is for peasant dogs who do not own microwaves.  Unless the frozen food is people ice cream, in which case I will make an exception to the frozen rule.  I tell my owner I would rather have my chicken stick, and she caves in immediately because she is tired.  
  

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